Sugar Detox: Week 1

Although it struck fear into my heart, I recently decided to enroll in Nicole‘s 30-Day Sugar Detox program, and boy am I glad I did. It launched at the beginning of June, so I’ve been working my way through the materials for just over a week now, and it’s been rather eye-opening.

I am a bit of a sugar fiend. I have a terrible sweet tooth – heck, my catch phrase is that I like a little coffee with my sugar and cream! I have gotten into the habit over recent years of having a “treat” every day, sometimes more than once a day: a muffin here, a piece of chocolate there, a danish for breakfast on a day that I’m running late. It’s not really a treat anymore if you’re eating it all the time, is it?

Most of the time if I indulge in a sugary treat, I feel like I can’t help myself. And with certain particular items, I feel like I can’t stop at one, either. (TIM TAMS, I’M LOOKIN’ AT YOU). I was aware that when Nicole kicked the sugar habit, she went whole hog and basically eats 100% sugar-free now, but this wasn’t really my goal… I just wanted to avoid obvious sources of sugar for the month and kick the cravings. I wasn’t concerned about added sugar in non-obvious places.

The first phase of the program was focused on our connection with food – really delving into why we eat the way we do, where patterns of sugar-eating formed, and creating alternative coping mechanisms for those instances. One of my most interesting takeaways was remembering a family dinner tradition from my childhood: my mum served dessert of some sort almost every day (even though most of the time it was just fruit or yogurt, it was still a sweet flavour), but my parents told us we had to “qualify” for dessert by finishing some arbitrary amount of our main entree before we could move on to dessert. I had never made the link before, but there it was glaring me in the face. I had learned to equate sweets as a reward. And I do that to this day. Make a big sale? Cake! Finished an intensive study course? Ice cream! Had a super productive weekend? Pie!

I also realized how often I eat crap just because I’m bored, and especially if I’m bored and lonely or stressed. So, the coping mechanisms I came up with when I start craving sweets were the following:

1. Take a walk
2. Call a friend, and if I’m upset or stressed, vent
3. Do something on my to-do list… preferably not something at the computer or at my desk.
4. Play a fun song and dance it out

I’m now in the second phase, which is the education phase of the program, and this got really interesting for me. You’ll remember that I had no intention of cutting out added sugars in non-obvious places, but I also didn’t think that they were in so many non-obvious places! Nicole gave us a list of all the different names used in ingredient lists for various types of sugar additives. I don’t even think the list was comprehensive, but boy howdy, it was a long list. And after comparing every pantry item in my kitchen against that list, there were some nasty surprises. Rice vinegar! Canned olives! Chicken stock! Black beans! Mayonnaise! My beloved lemongrass had no less than FOUR DIFFERENT TYPES of sugar additives. And I nearly cried to see sugar as the second ingredient in sriracha. (Thankfully, I was also happy to learn that dill pickles, marmite, and my particular brand of salsa, crackers and dijon mustard were safe.)

So, I’m still not giving up my beloved sriracha, but it got me thinking that maybe there are some easy switches I can make that will reduce my sugar consumption without even noticing. First things first, it’s probably time to start soaking and cooking my own beans and chicken/vegetable stock instead of relying so heavily on pre-packaged varieties. I will probably commit to the switch from processed to natural peanut butter. And in some cases, a simple brand change is all it will take… did you guys know that most commercially made mayonnaise has added sugar, but Trader Joe’s brand doesn’t? (Sidebar: I am obsessed with Trader Joe’s and want to start crossing the border every few weeks for a grocery stocking trip, so I’m TOTALLY FINE with another excuse to hit them up). I will be reading ingredient lists on food packaging much more carefully in the future.

The best part? I haven’t even avoided obvious sugar 100% since June 1, but I have definitely reduced it dramatically and I’m pretty sure I’ve kicked the daily cravings. Also? I’ve been breaking through a weight loss plateau without increasing my activity level!

Stay tuned for more about this as the month goes on.

Breakneck Speed Dating

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared any dating stories with you guys! There’s a reason for that… as I shared here, I’ve made virtually no effort to date anyone over the last several months. A couple of weeks ago, however, in a fog of weekend boredom, I spent four hours chatting with a guy on an online dating site. It started off as a simple hello, but he turned out to be a great conversationalist and we were talking well into the wee hours of the morning, only stopping when our eyelids were drooping. We ended the conversation with plans to go for a hike the next morning and see if we had as much fun in person.

I found him at the agreed-upon meeting spot, his pooch in tow (ALWAYS A PLUS!) I made fast friends with the dog first, and then we set out for a two-hour trek in the woods. Initially a little skeptical of being alone for two hours with a guy I’d never met before and with no quick way out if he turned out to be crazypants, I relaxed upon meeting him. He was chatty, interesting, and had a casual demeanor with me that made me feel immediately as though I’d known him for years, and we didn’t run out of conversation at any point.

At the end of the hike, I found myself disappointed that it was over, and I suppose he’d been thinking the same thing, so we went to get coffees and drove down to the beach to sip and chat some more. There he kissed me, and we ended up spending nine (!!!) hours together that first day. When we parted ways finally, I felt like my life had just been flip-turned upside down and I was floating on a cloud. I couldn’t believe the ease that I felt with him; it immediately seemed that I had an established boyfriend.

Again, it seemed the feeling was mutual with him, and on our second date, he made a tactical error. He must have been feeling close to me and felt comfortable sharing information that you would normally not disclose on a second date. After a casual question asking how long he’d had Kira his dog, I was bombarded with the following:

• He’d just gotten Kira back from his ex two weeks prior.
• Kira had been with his ex because she had “stolen” the dog when they broke up and tried to use Kira as leverage to get back together.
• When that didn’t work, SHE HAD HIM ARRESTED. With handcuffs, and he was escorted away from their place in a cop car! For physical harassment? The story he told me: When he wouldn’t agree to stay together with his ex, she lost control and began physically lashing out at him. To keep her from hitting and punching him, he wrapped his arms around her to immobilize her until she calmed down. She called the police afterwards saying he’d physically restrained her. I actually believe him that this was just a desperate manipulative ploy that she pulled in order to regain some power, and I don’t think he physically abused her, but still… RED FLAG.
• This all went down a mere 6 weeks ago.
• Due to the recency of this situation, he actually was still couch-surfing with his buddy following moving out of the apartment he had shared with his ex, and would be moving into his own place the following weekend.
• Oh yeah, and crazy ex is HIS CURRENT WIFE. Due to divorce law in Canada, he can’t file for divorce until they’ve been separated for one full year. 6 weeks down, 46 to go!!!
• On an unrelated note but just for kicks to add to this barrel of laughs, he does a lot of marijuana. Like, A LOT. Daily.

Any sane person would probably run away kicking & screaming, but I have always had trouble processing overwhelming information in the moment that I encounter it. So I deferred to my usual tactic of Smooth Things Over And Deal With It Later. I spent the next little while reassuring him that it was okay, and he kept confiding in me the finer points of his breakup with this woman. Eventually I succeeded in changing the subject to a lighter topic, and we had some dinner and wine and fun. I shoved this bonkers tale onto a dusty shelf in the back corner of my brain for later examination.

When he’d left and I had some time to reflect on the mess I’d gotten myself into, I thought back to the details of our conversation about his breakup with his wife. He’d assured me he was over her, which was very plainly not the case. What he meant, I think, was that he had no intention of getting back together with her, which I believe… but the sheer emotion that arose while he was hyper-focused on talking about this relationship made it crystal clear that this really lovely guy was just at the beginning phase of dealing with the fallout from his separation. And he had no business whatsoever being registered on an online dating site. Not only that, but I’d noticed an awful crassness to his language while he was worked up about this story. Listen, I sometimes have quite the sailor-mouth myself, and I have a pretty high tolerance for swearing… but it was literally 2 curse words per sentence and really gross ways of describing things. I was offended and that’s quite a feat!

On the other hand, none of this erased the connection I’d felt with him. After running it by a couple of close friends, I decided that I could possibly deal with the horrible timing of our meeting if the swearing turned out to be something that happened only because he was upset, and was never directed at me in anger… and if he could agree not to ever do any pot around me.

So I very cautiously approached a third date a few days later, and the pot-smoking came up in conversation. I asked him to please not do it around me, and he said it wouldn’t be much fun for him if he couldn’t smoke up and then watch a movie with me or relax in his own home with it. And that was that. There were about ELEVENTY BAJILLION great reasons not to date this guy, and I was willing to consider it anyway, but that one? Dealbreaker.

It started and finished so fast, now it seems like a crazy surreal dream. But it did remind me how nice it feels to have someone in your life that you relate to that way.

Housekeeping Note: New Blog Header!

If any of you logged in to this blog last night (Sunday), you might have noticed some wacky design changes as I was testing out some different layout and template options. My wonderful roommate from my trip to Vegas, Karlyn who blogs about feminism over at The Shattered Glass Slipper, made this beautiful header for me and I’ve finally got it up and running today. It’s not a full site overhaul, just a nice coat of fresh paint, but I’m thrilled with the more customized look and the brighter pops of colour. Here’s what I changed:

• Added the header that Karlyn designed
• Changed the WordPress template design from Fresh & Clean to Twenty Twelve
• Changed the background colour to lime green
• No more truncated posts on the main page!

If you’re reading this in a reader, pop over and have a look. Let me know what you think and give Karlyn a visit!

May Highlights, June Intentions

It’s been a good, rather eventful month. I’m enjoying the pace of 2013 so far. We’re almost halfway through and I want to keep the momentum up.

May Highlights:

May means lots of hiking in the woods. Source: Grouse Mountain

• Found out one of my closest friends is pregnant with her second. I’m so excited for her.
• Got a pedicure with a fun glittery colour for my vacation.
• Took my mum out to a brunch spot she’s been wanting to try for ages with my family for Mother’s Day
• Took a week and a half vacation from work and went down to Las Vegas to party with 64 other bloggers and knock an item off my life list – I saw Shania Twain perform!
• Hit up Trader Joe’s in Bellingham, WA for some American grocery shopping action on the way home from my trip.
• Attended the rehearsal dinner and wedding of a wonderful friend, Julia
• Enjoyed quite the whirlwind romance that was over before I’d had a chance to absorb what was going on, after months of utter boredom on the love life front. It’s been… interesting!
• Read two more books that I really enjoyed this month: I loved Requiem, which wrapped up the Delirium series by Lauren Oliver and was very pleased with the way it all ended. And I finally picked up Roomby Emma Donoghue after hearing about it for months, and devoured the entire story in one weekend. Definitely worth a read.

How did I do on my May intentions?

• Let loose and enjoy lots of new friend time in Vegas! – Check!
• Related: do not let TOO loose. Have 3 meals of whatever I want; make smart food choices the rest of the time. 3 alcoholic drinks per day. -I didn’t really track it, but I did alright on this front. I only gained 1 pound over my 6 day trip and lost it (plus more) quickly upon returning home.
• Spend no more than $600 in Vegas on things that haven’t already been paid for. – Check!
• Back on track healthwise when I return from Vegas: eliminate sweets from your diet for the rest of May. -I have had a few cookies but have mostly been eating well. Half check?
• Complete a hike longer than my usual 1.5 hour hike before month end. -Oh, so close! It has been pouring rain since I’ve been back almost relentlessly, so I haven’t been out on the trails much. Finally the sunshine returned today so I met this goal two days late!

June Intentions:

• My fabulous Vegas roommate Karlyn has made a custom blog header for me, so stay tuned to see that go live this month!
• I’m participating in Nicole‘s 30 Day Sugar Detox program. I’m avoiding all sugar-laden snacks for this month and expecting to make some weight loss progress and some changes to the way I eat.
• I WILL NOT BAIL ON MY BOOK CLUB THIS MONTH. I WILL NOT BAIL ON MY BOOK CLUB THIS MONTH. I WILL NOT BAIL ON MY BOOK CLUB THIS MONTH.
• Celebrate my sister’s birthday this month without breaking my resolve to avoid sugary treats. I can celebrate with her without eating cake.
• Complete the Grouse Grind hike up Grouse Mountain this month. I use this hike as a gauge of my fitness level because it’s technically very difficult and intense, and I have had to turn back without finishing it several times because if I don’t pace myself carefully I become dizzy. I’m hoping to finish in an hour and a half for my first run at it this season.

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Bloggers in Sin City

A few months ago, I signed up to attend Bloggers in Sin City, and it finally happened this past weekend in Las Vegas. It was the best. And to illustrate just how great it was, this is going to be a photo-heavy post!

Honestly, the impetus for attending was not to meet or hang out with the bloggers, though I was certainly anticipating that to be an awesome side perk. I’ve been to Vegas twice before. I thought once was enough for a lifetime, and I had already doubled that quota. But, seeing Shania Twain perform live has been a big life dream for me ever since discovering her music as a teenager, and she hasn’t been performing for years – over a decade, I believe. I’ve said for ages that I would spend my last penny to attend her concert, and then she got a show in Vegas. I knew I *had* to get there to see it, but who to go with? Enter BiSC.

I had so many fun experiences! Stayed at the Flamingo in a baller room, and would stay with them again in a heartbeat. I went on a rollercoaster. I played Cards Against Humanity to break the ice.

Best Cards Against Humanity haiku: “A defective condom; Leaving an awkward voicemail; A disappointing birthday party.”

Cocktail mixers and brunch buffets.

Welcome mixer at Serendipity3. Source: Karlyn Williams

Cheated and wore grey to the white party!

Reading in the VIP section at the pool. Day drinking Bloody Marys. BLOWN AWAY by Cirque du Soleil’s aquatic show “O”.

No photos allowed during the show, but this was the opening montage before the curtain rose at Cirque du Soleil’s “O”

Danced half the night away with my fellow BiSC-uits. Partied on the rooftop of PURE nightclub at Caesar’s. Did a tasting of nine whiskies at the Whisky Attic.

The knight in shining armor, guarding the largest collection of whisky in North America!

Flight of 9 whisky taster shots

All of us also enjoyed a great swag bag. Check out the table full of them waiting for us at registration, with bonus snacks!

Gift Bags

My favourite two sponsored items in the gift bags were the Stackwines and the Firmoo sunglasses. Stackwines have a brilliant concept: A stack of four disposable wine glasses, pre-filled with wine, stacked together in a package. You can have a glass of wine (to go! All the better, as this is allowed in Vegas!) and leave the rest unopened & fresh. Karlyn and I enjoyed a glass each evening while getting ready for festivities. I hope they sell it in Canada. And we were able to select our own sunglasses ahead of time from Firmoo and received them in our gift bags. I am in love with mine and highly recommend ordering from them if you’re in need of some shades.

We were all sporting our Firmoo sunnies at the pool. Source: Karlyn Williams

It was all incredibly well-organized and great value created for all of us by the inimitable Nicole and Doniree. But in the end, the sponsors and the events added up to something greater than the sum of their parts. BiSC became more to me than some fun stuff to do and fun people to do them with.

I’m a fairly low-key, introverted person. I can be a lot of fun, but primarily in one-on-one or small group settings. I do not shine at group events of this nature; others usually form stronger bonds than I do. For the most part, this was no different. I haven’t spent a lot of time in conversation with a lot of the BiSCuits reading this. In some cases, I was too intimidated by their big Internet presence to approach them and say much. I listened to everyone cry at our farewell brunch and talk about having all the feelings; there were genuine crushed hearts at the thought of saying goodbye to each other. I had a hard time with this, and wondered if I missed out. The truth is, I just can’t connect with 65 people in one weekend well enough to feel crushed at seeing them go. But I did make a few great new friends. My roommate Karlyn was the best roomie and Shania accomplice I could have possibly asked for. I felt genuine kinship with the lovely bloggers and excellent humans with whom I did share deeper conversations.

But I’m not one to dwell on goodbyes and I couldn’t deal with the sadness, because I just know that we’ll continue the friendships and if we really connected, we’ll see each other again. I cannot wait to road trip down to Portland with Dominique and Simone to visit Larissa. I am ecstatic that Megan is coming to Vancouver soon and I’ll be able to see her again. I was delighted to make a new friend in Chicago because I want to travel there, and to hear stories of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro! And my fellow Canadians, you have my heart. All my BiSCuits, you’ve been special to me.

Instead of sadness, what I felt at the end were the stirrings of inspiration. This is an amazing group of people who have collectively achieved so much and revealed such raw honesty, and the result was a real lightbulb moment for me. So many seemed to have experienced – or are still experiencing! – very real struggles and obstacles along the way to their goals. These struggles are usually hidden from public view. I have run up against obstacle after obstacle over the last several years and have noticed myself shrinking my goals and settling for less, because I started to believe that’s all I was capable of… that successful people don’t repeatedly fail and struggle as I have, and that I’m simply not destined to fulfill my bigger dreams. What I learned – something that wasn’t an intellectual shock but I had never really internalized before – was that everyone wades through shit to get where they want to go, and that the only way to reach big dreams is to keep wading through. I’d started thinking that the continual struggle meant failure, but it just means I’m alive. And it made me realize all that I want is possible.

That was the real value of this weekend to me. It was exhilarating and invigorating not for the break from work or the drunken shenanigans or even Shania, but because my BiSCuit tribe gave me permission to dream big again. Thank you to you all for that incredible gift.

All images are my own unless otherwise indicated.

An Elephant Story at Go Mighty

Image source: Boon Lott Elephant Sanctuary

I wrote a story about a dream very near and dear to my heart over at Go Mighty: I want to volunteer at an elephant sanctuary. Go check it out .